Welcome to My Blog
Burned Out Human Doing to Thriving Human Being
I was pivoted out.
One year into private practice.
Six months into Pandemic.
As practiced as I am at slowing down and taking time for contemplation and renewal, I struggled: depletion of motivation, lack of time for lengthy practice, and simply too much change too fast.
Then–Ruth Bader Ginsberg and our refrigerator died within days of one another–and fridges were back-ordered for months.
To Mask or Not to Mask–That is the Question
Saturday morning my spouse and I went to Central Market, our local farmer's market, for our weekly shopping. For the first time in over a year, all doors were open wide welcoming us. Although my logic part knew I wasn't "breaking the rules," my good girl part felt...
Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There
This winter I moved into my new office. Not only did my body feel a release from having a private space large enough to keep physical distance, my body felt alive. I could even tote boxes of books from my car into the office (Thank you physical therapy for...
Learning to Listen with Love to Your Body
GroundingJoin me this month for a meditation and practice to engage your inner resources as a support for recognizing and processing a difficult memory or emotion. This meditation comes from Resma Menaken’s My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the...
Change=Loss; Loss=Grief
On March 19, 2020, I packed my car with a box of files, two boxes of books, and my stack of sticky-notes. Driving away from The Candy Factory, my throat tightened as one of my trusty protectors held back tears. It is a freeze-frame moment in my...
Christmas Eve Permission Slip for Pastors
Dear Pastors, Oh my goodness, my heart is with you all today. You've already been through Holy Week and celebrated the resurrection in Pandemic. But Christmas, too?!? Doesn't seem fair. Isn't fair. I don't know about you all--but being a fellow person in the helping...
Successful Stepfamilies Can Teach Us How to ‘Turn the Page’ Nationally
“It’s time to turn the page,” invited President-Elect Biden. He affirms, “I will work to be a president who seeks not to divide but unify. I won’t see red states and blue states, I will always see the United States.” His mission is to heal the ruptures in the United...
Settling into the Wilderness
In September of 2013, the still, small voice called me out of parish ministry. The call out was clear—the next destination, not so much. Like the Israelites stumbling through the woods toward the Promised Land, I found myself in the wilderness learning to...
The Both/And of 2020
All I was doing was standing--literally just standing on the paved path of the Northwest County Rail Trail--and I felt and heard a POP. Pop and then crushing pain as my knee gave out. What? I’m finally well enough to walk in the woods and now...
To Clergy Leading in the Liminal Space Between November and January
Dear Pastors, I can't imagine the tension you feel right now. So many of lead congregations that reflect our current society. Please know we are with you and what I think most of us need today is you being vulnerable courageously you...the human you. If you’ve known...
Acceptance Does Not Mean Approval or Agreement
Eleven years ago I found my way into the recovery world through Al-Anon. Although my head could see things, my heart and body could not seem to say no to repeating painful relational patterns. These patterns weren’t just in my romantic relationships—and...
From Heroes to Humans
Doctors, nurses, chaplains, social workers: these are our new heroes. On the frontline with COVID 19, their mission is to sustain and save us. We all have heard the stories about the power of humans to rise in times of challenge. Our need for heroes in these days are...
Writing my Way Out of the Whale
It's been four years since I've blogged like this. This. Where I allow my heart, soul, and mind to spill out through my fingers onto the (public) page. Four years ago, I lived in the belly of the whale--deep in the midst of training in marriage and family therapy. In...
What Anyone Who LOVES Individual Therapy Needs To Know Before Starting Couples Therapy
You’ve been in therapy before. You loved it. It helped you find yourself and make significant changes in your life. Now you’ve hit a rough patch in your relationship, and you think THERAPY! If I just take my partner to therapy, this problem can get fixed. (And a...
Informed Consent for In-Person Therapy
Consent for Returning to In-Person Psychological Services This Consent for Returning to In-Person Psychological Services is a supplement to the general informed consent that we agreed to at the outset of our clinical work together. Please read this document...
Meditation for Softening, Soothing, and Allowing Difficult Emotions
In one month’s time, we have all experienced a tremendous amount of change and loss. From the way we work to the way we grocery shop, very few tasks are “the way we’ve always done them.” The rites of passage of spring like the proms and graduations are not being...
Couples, Quarantine, and Traumatic Grief
Have you noticed yourself secretly longing for the "loneliness" you read about on social media? Are you irritated by your spouse or children? Do you secretly wonder, "What’s happening to my once happy relationship?" Through Telehealth sessions, I’ve witnessed...
The Power of Previous Learning To Help Us in the Present
One of the benefits of counseling of any kind is naming our thoughts, our feelings, and our experiences. Life and research have taught us that calling a thing a thing might not take the situation or problem away, but it can certainly help minimize its power over...
Resources to Support You and Your Families Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health in Response to COVID-19
Have you struggled with feelings of stress or overwhelm in the last week? Are you confused about how to care for your health and practice social distancing? Although you and your family may be home, you are not alone. Thanks to our online capabilities, you have a...
Five Investments for Your Relationship
When I meet with couples, we often explore what’s changed or what’s missing in their relationship or marriage. It’s not uncommon that both in the couple look a little perplexed, shrug their shoulders and say, “I don’t know…it’s the little things.” It’s the Little...
How are Your Connections?
Welcome to January. The first month of the new year…and new decade. If you’re like me, you’ve been inundated with advertisements about ways you can improve in the new year. From losing a few pounds to getting in better physical shape, much of what...
Release the Old and Welcome the New with a Ritual
If you want to deepen your relationship with yourself, your partner, and your family, a ritual to release the previous year can help make space to manifest your hopes.
How to Handle the Holidays in Years of Grief and Loss
Ten years ago I went through a significant break-up. It started in early November, and the full process did not end until the next year. Everyone around me seemed to be giving thanks and wishing me “happy holidays.” I yearned to crawl into a hole and hibernate. In...
Holiday Survival Kit for Re-Coupled, Step, and Blended Families
For adults and children in re-coupled families, the holidays can be particularly challenging. In addition to the stress and pressure of the season, these families juggle the calendars of at least two different homes. Both the children and the adults in these families...
Will you take the Holiday Self-Care Challenge?
What would it look like to take 5 minutes a day to check-in with yourself? Subscribe Attend to your body, mind, spirit, and relationships with on-going tips as well as information about upcoming events. Email Address Sign Up We respect your privacy. Thank...
Holiday Survival Kit
“Oh, that’s right. Next week is Thanksgiving.” Pause and audible sigh followed by laugh. This was the scene in the middle of a meeting last week. In my office, I spend much of November and December supporting people as they brace for the impact of the holiday. What is...
Learning to Balance Through Breathing
Did you know balancing your breath can help balance your mind? Join me.
Common Questions about Counseling in Lancaster, PA
Thankfully awareness about mental health and the importance of caring for your emotional and psychological health have become more prevalent and hopefully less stigmatized. Although awareness may have increased, it doesn’t take long to realize that clinical jargon and...
Do you need a place to renew your mind and spirit?
Join us for Spiritual Happy Hour the 4th Friday of every month. What is Spiritual Happy Hour? It’s an intentional time for you to pause in the midst of your day, to step out of your daily grind and into supportive community. We gather from noon to 1:00 at the Suites...
Questions to Ask a Therapist or Counselor in Lancaster, PA
Even though awareness about the importance of mental health and counseling have increased significantly in Lancaster, PA, finding the right therapist can still be daunting. One of the challenges some clients talk about is the fear of the first phone call. It takes...
Finding a Therapist in Lancaster, PA
In fact, Lancaster City has become more than a tourist spot but a home that offers both the feel of urban living and a deep connection to history and the past. However, finding a progressive coach, therapist, or counselor who has availability is not always easy. If you’re looking for a mental health professional, I’d like to help you find someone that can help you.
What Can You Expect if You Choose Me for Couples Counseling?
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT IF YOU CHOOSE ME AS YOUR COUPLES THERAPIST? A welcoming and open presenceAttention to the mind, body, spirit, connectionEncouragement to explore your relationships—both past and presentInput in crafting and achieving your unique goals, hopes, and...
Pre-Marital and Wedding Resources for LGBTQ Couples in Lancaster, PA
LGBTQ pre-marital couples can struggle to find open and supportive vendors when planning their wedding. Does the yes I will work with you mean a begrudging accommodation or a whole-hearted yes we are so excited to work with you? Below is list of LGBTQ supportive and...
Stepfamily 101–The Insider Outsider Dynamic
Did you know that according to the US Bureau of Census over 50% of families in the USA are re-coupled or remarriages? In fact 1 out of every three children will spend some or all of their childhood growing up in a stepfamily. Although stepfamilies are common today,...
Is Your Relationship Calling 9-1-1?
The average couples experiences 6 years of distress BEFORE reaching out for help. So if waiting 6 years is too long, just how much distress is enough before you seek support? How do you know when to cry when?
It’s the Little Things
Couple Care: You've heard people say--"it's the little things..." There is truth to this. Enhance the emotional climate with these 5 "little things." If you’d like help developing the “little things” in your relationship, contact me.
Getting Smart about Smartphones in Intimate Relationships
Technology has been a gift in so many ways. It can help you fill your relationship well. It can also deplete it and lead to draught. Here are a few tips for engaging technology in ways to enhance your relationship. If technology has become the “third person” in your...
Pre-Marital Counseling is an Investment in Your Future
How much would you invest in your relationship before marriage to decrease your likelihood of divorce? $100, $1,000, 2,000 maybe more? Did you know that couples who participate in premarital counseling and coaching reduce the likelihood of divorce by over...
The Gift of Premarital Counseling for Modern Relationships
Whether you’ve been together a couple of years or many years…. Whether you’ve lived separately or together… Whether you’re in a heterosexual or a same sex relationship… Whether you’ve never been married before or this is your second or third time… Premarital...
All Couples Give Birth at Their Weddings
Congratulations—You’re about to have your first baby!This is one of the little sayings I sometimes suggest to couples in the homily at their wedding. Sure, the sentence gets everyone to perk up a little bit. Sure, it can make for a little surprise. It both builds...
Marriage is a Cross Cultural Experience
In the fall of 2007, I prepared for my first trip to India as part of my seminary studies. Part of the preparation entailed a class to study about Indian culture, customs, faith traditions, etc…Although our professor attempted to help us dig deeper in our preparation,...
Marriage is a Cross-Cultural Experience
In the fall of 2007, I prepared for my first trip to India as part of my seminary studies. Part of the preparation entailed a class to study about Indian culture, customs, faith traditions, etc…Although our professor attempted to help us dig deeper in our preparation,...
All Couples Give Birth at the Wedding
“You’re about to have your first baby!” This is one of the little sayings I sometimes suggest to couples in the homily at their wedding. Sure, the sentence gets everyone to perk up a little bit. Sure, it can make for a little surprise. It both builds suspense and...
For These Things I Give Thanks
God only knows I haven't been the easiest person to be around of late. The to do list is long. The lament list is lengthy. The fire in my belly doesn't want to be tamed. I'm told that fire can either destroy or cleanse. I'm praying for the later. And then in a most...
From Resolutions to Rituals
It's that time of year. The time when we get busy writing our list of resolutions and checking them twice. If you are at all interested in personal growth or self-help, you can find books, journals, and art projects to inspire you to live your best year...
Running on Empty
Can I just say this little light is not what you want to see go on when you're stuck on the highway. Sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, several miles from the exit, facing the quickly setting sun, the E-Light illumined my drive. How could I be running on...
Holy One, I have fallen on my knees before you head bent... the very breath knocked out of me. I'm again that little girl whose sweaty palms slipped from the handle bars. I crashed on the hard playground floor. I tried to speak-- no sound escaped. It was a fall and a...
Practicing Barefoot
This is almost too hard to put into words. Too hard to capture . This sense that the space between therapist and client is holy ground. I forever feel as though I should be sitting barefoot. There is no more sacred space than when someone trusts you enough to unpack...
The Wisdom of Water
I've been wading For what seems like years-- Standing in the breaking waves Waiting Always waiting For just the right moment To dive Head under the cresting wave. Instead I shimmy Forward Back Forward Back The ebb and flow of the tide Pulling and pushing. In the...
Thank You Note to Fear
I've spent years. I mean years. And hundreds of dollars...yes I mean hundred of dollars...trying to kick fear out of the backseat of my car. I've breathed deep. I've counted to ten. I've patiently waited. I've stuffed the car so full of items, activities, and...
Grief: The Wedding Crasher
Grief appears the day of the wedding, but usually she's dressed to the nines and sipping cocktails. If you're not careful, you won't catch her. It's not that she's a wallflower. You can spot her in the reflection of the tears. She rubs elbows with the parents' of the...
Marriage On the Margins
In mainline protestant white liberal churchy world there's a lot of talk about ministry on the margins. Mostly this means ministry with people living in the margins of our society. Think refugees, LGBT folks, people of color. These are very real and necessary...
Say No to Yoga Shaming
A couple of months ago, I discovered kundalini yoga. Rather than focusing on strength of flexibility, this yoga focuses on breath and being. Or as yogajournal.com describes Kundalini Yoga incorporates movement, dynamic breathing techniques, meditation, and...
Too Busy for Poetry
In another round of graduate education I found myself too busy for poetry. Too much to do. Too many important tomes to read concepts to master skills to acquire thoughts to think ways of being to analyze. Oh the list is long-- The reading pile a mountain with each...
Not Ready for the Resurrection
I wonder if she felt this way-- not ready for the resurrection. So much tumult in such a short time. So much pain so little space to process. I wonder if she felt this way-- not ready for the resurrection. So easy to sing Sometimes people leave you Halfway...
Just Any Other Wednesday
What you must think of us, Holy One. Here it is our Holy Week-- the week we vow to re-member: our own culpability our own tendency toward shame and blame our own denial this week of all weeks we open ourselves to repentence we invite you in to help us find the courage...
I Pray for Abortion to End, Too
On my way to church yesterday, I drove passed a group of protestors. The majority of the signs implored, "Pray to end abortion." One lone sign declared, "Save Planned Parenthood." All it took was the juxtaposition of those messages, and the tumult I'd felt for two...
Roses
I want to like them. These roses. The sixty plus elegant bushes that we adopted when we moved into this home. But I don't. Try as I might I can't find the passion for carefully cultivating their soil or delicately pruning their branches. I confess to cheering as...
Haiku
Frogs splash in the pond cicadas sing summer's end Facebook can't compare.
Dance in the Hurricane
Thursday night the African American Episcopal Church in Lebanon had a vigil to pray for and with their sister congregation, Mother Emmanuel. A colleague and fellow UCC pastor went to the vigil both to find a space and place to share her own grief and to offer support...
Our Sanctuaries No Longer Safe Harbor
God of the whirlwind and storm Why must you still sleep? Surely you know we continue to sail into the storm. Our sanctuaries, once safe harbor in the storms have become like sand castles --their walls no longer a fortress. Do you not care that your children are...
Hosting, Housing, or Harboring
For the past decade, a key word in the United Church of Christ has been hospitality. Not just any old hospitality. Extravagant hospitality. Lavish welcome. We were encouraged to create space that welcomed all…"no matter who they are or where they are on life's...
We is So Much Bigger Than Me
It's that time of year again. Wedding Season! Or as I prefer to say, Marriage Season! One of the aspects that I love about ministry with pre-marital couples is the reminder to value my own marriage. Listening to couples navigate the challenges of growing from me to we...
For Carolyn and Youthser
This weekend the season begins. For some it is the season of wearing white. For some it is the season of swimming. For me it is a season of marrying. I could say weddings… but I like to think it's more active than that. It's so much more than one day. So much more...
Earthquakes, Ascension, and Sidewalk Chalk
Earth-Maker Pain-Bearer Life-Giver-- I've heard You called by these names. When I read them aloud in a sea of voices in Sunday worship I feign comfort and assurance at the power these names imply. I read stories of You speaking through whirlwinds appearing in fire and...
Fallow
I’d say the last week in our world has been unusually horrendous. That would be if I didn’t listen to the news regularly. I find myself saying and praying…”we have to turn a corner soon.” But we don’t. Perhaps we—at least as a nation—won’t. My tender-hearted soul...
Grace is like a sapling it roots in the debris. I believe this. I have seen this and touched it and tasted it. But here in this desert season of rock and ash a ground fecund with detritus I confess that sometimes I wish You would don a cape and would soar through the...
Facebook DeTox
God of the wild, I am 36 hours into a Facebook Detox and I realize how frequently my finger presses on the App: A quick drink of not here. A quick sip of not this. A swallow of someone else somewhere else. Forgive me the minutes that became hours spent scrolling...
Year End
I'm a first-timer at year end. Bookkeeping year end that is. Year end where you literally look back at every check and every debit. Every line to see if accounts balance and columns reconcile. It's tedious business-- this i-dotting and t-crossing or penny-finding. And...
Holiday Spirit
Holiday Spirit, I don't know where you are but I certainly can't seem to find you. I've exhumed the ornaments and lights. I thought for certain you'd be there-- nestled between pieces of the crèche or perhaps playing hide and seek with the Nutcrackers. But you...
The Sin of Nice-ness
It's nearly the second Sunday of Advent. Advent--a season that often accompanies plastering smiles and pseudo-happiness. But this year, this year I dare say our nation has been given the gift of denial shattering desperation. Maybe, just maybe, we might be ready to...
Thanks Giving
I unplugged this week. The noise in our world both far and near so loud. I couldn't hear a simple gratitude-- not one. Here I was preparing for Thanksgiving --an oven christening --a home christening --a family christening and all I could do was stir the simmering pot...
Ministry in the Marketplace
When I entered seminary, I swore I would never be a pastor. Swore. Up-down. Left-right. Back-forth. Me? Pastor? It was like a four-letter word to me. And here I am. A Pastor. And yet...not. I think what I pushed against in seminary or what I struggled to articulate...
Hello, my name is Megan, and I’m a racist.
Between transitioning homes and seasons, I haven't had the capacity to respond in any articulate way to the current flashpoint for racism in the USA: Ferguson. As the active boil publicly-- or at least "media" publicly--settles to a simmer, I find myself holding the...
Sometimes I Need to Pray to Jesus
Jesus, We come to You seeking answers: And so often You meet us with a question. We desire comfort and assurance: And You respond with challenge. We gather here to worship You: And You reply “Follow Me.” Jesus we come before You today Weary from following Weary from...
Lament
Holy One Higher Power Whoever or Whatever You are There are times where I wonder Are you there? Do you even care? In my most raw moments I find myself turning from You Turning in Tuning out Shutting down. Rage that boils Spills pain and grief Like blood on the...
Leaving the Game and Entering the Dance
All I heard was a thwack. Thwack. The thwack of a beach towel. Unfortunately it was not the thwack of a towel being straightened or folded. It was the sound of a towel hitting the legs of my younger daughter. And who was doing thwacking? I’m sure you can guess. Her...
Lessons from the Wilderness
I can’t believe it’s been almost a year. A year away from full time ministry A year away from a full time profession. A year. I’ve heard stories. I’ve read stories. Stories of abundance growing from a mustard seed. Stories of finding treasures in trash. Stories of...
Drowning Moses
I heard several stories on NPR Friday about the migration of Central American Children into the United States. One of the key questions currently being debated—are the children illegal immigrants or refugees? Illegal immigrants or refugees. Seriously? This is our...
Blinded by the Light
Some days I feel like my commute is so much more than simply the stretch of road getting me from home to work and back again. Today was one of those days. As I started for home, "Blinded by the Light" blared on WXPN. A strange song at best, I found myself singing...
Demon–Thy Name is PTSD
I recently read a post from a friend asking for prayers and positive energy. He took the courageous step of publicly asking for help with his lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety. As someone who also struggles with this wicked cocktail--served as PTSD--I...
Forgive Me Dear Friend
Forgive me Dear Friend,I've stood You up recently.Avoided really showing upin the stillness of the morning.Pretended I needed that extra half-hour of sleep.Rationalized that You understand.Your grace abounds.These rationalizations might be true.But the truth is…I've...
Long Division
Her homework no longer has tidy answers.The equations hang in the airwith remainders.Long division without round numbersis harder to answer.Dare I tell her that this is like life?It's rare to get a day that ends without a remainder.It's rare to read a passage in the...
Entering the Emptiness
One of the opportunities of recovery is time. Time to breathe. Time to be still. Time to ponder. Time to look around the house and simply drink in reality. Generally, I don't love swallowing reality by the glass. Intellectually, I know a good swig of reality is...
Friday Five–Spring Fling Edition
Five things that let me know SPRING is here... 1. The hosta finally peeks above the dirt and mulch 2. Piles of winter clothing wait to sleep in rubbermaid tubs. 3. The fridge houses more hardboiled eggs than we might eat. 4. I have heard the bells tolling for ice...
Holy GhostGod,Holy Saturday You seem more ghost than God.There's an absenceand emptiness.I realize how much of this last yearhas been like livingin a series of holy Saturdays.It's the day of betwixt and between,alreadyand not yet.That Saturdayover 2000 years agoI have...
Maundy Thursday
Today we honor the first of the last. The last time Jesus gathered with his friends. The last meal they shared together. The last bread broken and wine poured. The last time simple elements of grain and grape were just that. Grain and Grape. After today, they...
Holy Monday–Listening for the Sacred Story
I wonder what it was like Holy Monday.Was there tension in the air?Thick and sticky humidity foreshadowing the thunderstorms about to roll in?I sit here this Holy Monday…slowed almost to a standstill. Time somehow changed its passing. I see the day lilies poking...
Thin Places
Sojourning God,The world waves palms in Your honor this weekend.We re-enact the crowd cheering You forward.Within a weekwe stand by and watch the journeythat leads from the table to the crossto the tomb.Whether we turn our heads awayand hide in our homes;stand...
Houses and Healing
I have heard spiritual teachers speak about how one's outer landscape is often a reflection of one's interior. For the last two months, this has been true for me in more ways than I care to admit. Just as I really committed to pursuing the pain in my lower right...
Sole
I threw out a sole today--Size 11 Wide.It was nestled among the tree detritusin the flower bed by the street.I spent my last spring Saturday afternooncleaning up from winter's wrath.While I uncovered the tentative hosta leaves,I discovered a sole.I assume of a man.I...
I’m a Hyster Sister
I've been debating writing this piece and putting it out there. For all my talk about being honest and real, I still wrestle with when and how. Is this too much? Is this too personal? Is this too intimate? I started actively sitting with these questions this...
Not Quite What I Was Planning
That six word memoir could be mine. I suspect it could be many people's. Tell me your life story in six words: Not Quite What I Was Planning. Something that struck me this Lent is that this six word memoir could be Jesus', too. I imagine the way the story played...
Prayer of Thanksgiving
Sometimes a prayer of thanksgiving isas simple as a swatch of blue sky,a swag of gnarled green grass,and zigzag stitching of geese migrating North.Amen.
See What This Love Has Done
This open handed, arms wide open love is the hardest thing I've ever practiced. I don't know about you,but I find it much easier to say I lovethe widow, orphan, or immigrant that I see on TV or walking on the streetthan I do to practice the love with those nearest...
Ashes to Ashes
God of Ashes a year ago we waved these palms praising Your name promising to follow You. Today we hold the debris-- the dust of our failed promises our lost dreams our unmet wishes. We mark our foreheads to remind ourselves we are but ash. But God of Ashes Your...
Friday Five: A Little Bit Random
1. A color that you enjoy (and where you find it) Purple--it's my fav...my eye glasses, several pieces of clothes, and my garden (sometime soon *crossing fingers*) 2. A food or drink you have discovered recently that is just da bomb! Black Bean and Lentil Chili--a...
Stream of Conscious Rant
Before I writeBefore I postBefore I shareI often sit with--and over-sit with what to "put out" in the air.There's so much noise pointing at and out rather than exploring the complexity we humans live in. And then todaytoday I just don't have the patience to sit and...
Baby Steps
Last week I had the joy and challenge of watching one of my nieces. The niece who continues to teach me what it means to thrive in the wilderness. This niece is the same niece that was “not supposed to make it”; “not supposed to sit up”; “not supposed to feed...
What if We Actually Believed That Death was Not the End?
Last night I had dinner with a dear friend and colleague in ministry. Even though we love to catch up on the details of family and life, our conversation can't help but include a least five minutes about the church. Last night's five minutes (and then some) touched...