The average couple experiences 6 years of distress BEFORE reaching out for help. So if waiting 6 years is too long, just how much distress is enough before you seek support? How do you know when to cry when?
Below are a few key moments in life and distress symptoms that suggest couples counseling may be beneficial to you:
Recent Life Events Have Happened—and the Stress may be affecting the relationship
You are struggling with infertility
You started a family, and you realize that you both are parents—but you don’t feel like partners—this whole family thing is harder than you thought
You’ve experienced miscarriage or fetal loss
You’ve created a step-family
You have started a new job or have returned to school
You find yourself not wanting to confide in or share with your partner the way you once did. They are no longer your best friend and companion.
You notice that you are irritated with your partner’s quirks and patterns. The little things that you used to love now drive you a little bit bonkers.
You fight about the same things over and over again, and the fight doesn’t feel productive.
You avoid talking about important things to avoid conflict and recognize that it seems like you don’t know your partner.
Your sex life has significantly decreased.
You spend more time with work or your children than with your partner.
You find yourself saying, “We don’t have time/money for…date nights, 10 minutes of talk a day, a 6 second kiss….”
You notice yourself being emotionally and/or physically attracted to other people and have started to enjoy time with those you’re attracted to more than time with your partner
You have had fantasies about being single, ending the relationship, and walking away
You or your partner threaten to leave in fights
If you identify with any of these items, your relationship may benefit from couples counseling. If you would like support in identifying and exploring strategies to address these symptoms of distress, contact me.